You meet up with your next door neighbor, Jim,
one evening in the yard on the way out to the mailbox. You begin a
conversation using F.O.R.M.:
You: Hi, Jim, how are you
today?
Jim: Fine, just a little
tired.
You: You look a little
tired, been working late again? (note:
asking about Occupation, a part of F.O.R.M. -- Step 1)
Jim: Yeah. It seems like
one big project after another lately at work. I'll be glad when this all
settles down.
You: How's the family
taking these long hours? (note:
asking about Family, a part of F.O.R.M.)
Jim: They are really trying
to be supportive. My wife is always up waiting even when I work long hours
and the kids all try to be on their best behavior because they know I'm a
little tense.
You: Finding any time to
relax or have fun? (note:
asking about Recreation, a part of F.O.R.M.)
Jim: Well, I get out to
play tennis now and then, but not too often.
You: I really like tennis
too. 'Been forever since I've played though. We'll have to play a match
sometime. (note: building on
a common interest and establishing trust)
Jim: Yeah, that would be
fun.
You: You know, Jim, I've
really noticed how you talk a lot about your family being supportive. (note:
you've decided your principle to share is going to be Family Home
Evening--step 2) I go to a
church that is really big on having strong families. In fact, busy as I
am, my family gets together one night a week for something called
"Family Home Evening." We talk about how things are going, share
ideas that are important to us that help us be better people, and do
something fun like play a game. Oh, and there's always dessert at the
end (note: this was
step 3 -- share the principle).
I think your family would
really enjoy it, and I'd like to invite all of you over next Monday night
at 6:00 to join us for our Family Home Evening
. We can watch a great video we
have about families and play some volleyball afterward in the yard (note:
this was step 4 -- suggest an activity).
Will you join us this Monday night? (note:
this was step 5 -- finalizing the invitation)
Jim: That sounds really
nice, but I don't think we can make it Monday.
You: That's alright. What's
the obstacle for you? (note:
rather than giving up, you ask what the concern is -- until you ask you
don't know if it is a scheduling concern or a problem with the activity
you are suggesting)
Jim: Oh, Mondays are my
latest night at work. Tuesday would be much better for me.
You: Tuesday it is then.
6:00 PM okay?
Jim: Sure, that will be great.
You: Alright! I'll give you
a call at work on Monday just to confirm. We'll have to pull out the old
homemade ice cream makers and pull together some Homemade Rootbeer Ice
Cream! (note: finishing up
step 5 -- finalizing the plans by arranging to confirm the activity).
Back
to main presentation page
